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It’s got to be…. perfect. Or does it?

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Is it just me, or do you have a song by Fairground Attraction going through your head now? Anyway…

In job interviews (a long, long time ago!), when I was asked about my weaknesses, one of my standard answers was “I’m a bit of a perfectionist”, as I felt this was almost a good thing.

But is it really?

Perfectionism can show up in one of two ways: constant revising and editing to get it “just right” or a reluctance to start because you don’t have enough time to do it well enough. The end result is that it ends up being left undone, takes much longer than it should, or the job is done badly because it was put off repeatedly until the deadline could no longer be ignored, and it was done in a huge rush (like those all-nighter essays at university!)

Marla Cilley (“The Flylady” from the housework help site www.flylady.net) has the mantra “progress, not perfection”.

Sometimes progress, or “good enough”, is okay. For example, doing an exercise video (or my favourite, a workout using the kids’ Wii) may not be a perfect workout, but it’s still better than not doing anything.

But sometimes you have to hold yourself to a higher standard. But if perfection’s out, what can you aim for?

I recently heard another variation, which I think is a much better mindset, especially for business: aim for excellence, not perfection.

I think most people would accept something that was excellent, even if it had a few minor flaws which meant that it wasn’t quite perfect.

A non-business example: I recently made some ginger crunch. Since the base was crumbly rather than crunchy, it was certainly not perfect. However, the opinion of everyone who ate it was that it was definitely excellent.

So, to misquote Bill and Ted …. Be Excellent!

Life’s like a Roller Coaster

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This is something I’ve heard people say a lot. And after a week in the Gold Coast where pretty much all we did was eat, sleep, ride coasters and wait in queues, I found myself thinki20151011_165515ng quite a lot about the comparison. There are the ups and downs (obviously), the slow progress climbing to a peak and then the mad rush as you plummet back down. But more than that, there’s the commitment to do it, the boring hours you put in waiting to move to the front of the queue, the fear and the rush of exhilaration.

I’ve always loved roller coasters… bizarre for someone with a fear of heights. However, I really did not enjoy going on them with my tall-enough-but-incredibly-slim daughter, as none of the harnesses were tight on her, and there was this hideous fear that she would fall out! With one exception (a water ride ton which I was convinced I was going to capsize the raft the four of us were holding (tightly) onto), my nerves, while unmistakably present, were easily controllable.

That made me think about fear… how does the sensation and emotion we feel before going on a roller coaster differ from how we feel when we’re about to do something in life or in business, that we know we should do, but that scares us? It seems to me that the difference is all about our attitude… roller coasters are supposed to be fun (but scary), so we’re willing to pay a lot of money to experience the rush (and the fear; although at a theme park we would probably call it either nerves or excitement).

So our challenge could be to take something that scares you and think of it like a ride… reframe the fear as excitement, and look forward to the rush you’ll get when you’ve done it.

 

Baby steps or a Marathon?

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I have a confession… I’m naturally a messy person (this will come as no surprise to anyone who’s arrived at my house without warning!)

This messy gene is shared by everyone who lives here… husband and both kids, which is both good and bad. Good, because everyone realises that they can’t be too critical when they have exactly the same issue, and bad, because if there was one tidy person living here, perhaps that would trigger a bit more activity to fix the problem (other than the panicked rush when someone’s coming over).

I’ve read many books and websites that have “the answer”. Two of my favourites (partly because they’re written by people who’re not naturally tidy) are www.Flylady.Net and the Marie Kondo book that’s currently flavour of the month (“The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up”). Both of them make a huge amount of sense, but they also completely contradict each other.  Flylady works on the concept of doing 15 minutes every day to make consistent progress, aiming for progress rather than perfection. Marie talks about tidying all at once to get it perfect and dramatically change your mindset.

To be honest, neither approach has worked particularly well for me. With so many balls in the air, even finding 15 minutes each day when I have the energy and motivation (possibly an entirely different issue) to declutter and tidy is just too much. And last weekend, when I’d finished reading Marie’s book, I obediently attacked my clothes and, it must be admitted, made huge progress. But then I was absolutely exhausted, and there was no way I was going on to tackle books, papers, miscellaneous stuff and sentimental items. (I’m sure this method would work with either slightly less mess or with someone like Marie there as a slave driver, but I had a lot of mess and no-one to crack a whip).

Is one way right and one wrong? I think that it probably depends on the person who’s doing the action. For me that probably means trying to do a little each day as well as a few more big sessions (it certainly won’t just be one) to really make a difference.

There are a few things that I think are more critical to success than the speed with which you tackle a problem.

  1. A Deadline. This could be a date you’ve chosen for yourself (like my hubby’s upcoming “0” birthday) or one set by someone else (like your in-laws coming to visit).
  2. An Accountability  Buddy. Someone who’s going to work with you to set your goals (using whatever pace you choose), review your progress and either celebrate with you or send you back to keep working.
  3. Chunking/Planning. Regardless of whether you’re attacking something a tiny bit at a time, or as a huge marathon effort, knowing each small step that you’re going to take means you can just run with it rather than waste time wondering what to do next.

Looking at this concept, I can see so many areas that it applies to; tidying a house (obviously), cooking the meals for the week (as you go, or prepped in advance?), any large project that you’ve been putting off like marketing or getting your taxes in to your accountant. Pretty much any task that you’re reluctant to tackle.

So I’ll be spending part of this weekend tackling the books in my house, cooking up a storm (so I’m ready for the next week). I’ll be applying this to my business by setting up a system whereby clients can request a series of daily emails giving them one small step to do so that getting their tax info together is something that they can tackle in a series of quick and easy steps rather than a huge, overwhelming task. And it must be time to find an accountability buddy to keep me and my business moving in the right direction.

Happy, happy, joy, joy!

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Sometimes life just seems to keep hitting me over the head with the same information. Maybe it’s just something I really need to hear.

This time it’s about doing what makes you happy. It started with a book called “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, a book that I’d seen on a TV show and then requested from the library. The whole book was interesting but the big takeaway for me was that there’s no right or wrong in terms of what makes you happy (subject to legality, I suppose). I’ve heard the saying “one man’s trash, another man’s treasure” over and over again but for some reason it suddenly struck me that only I know what makes me happy, it’s probably going to be completely different to everyone else, and that’s fine.

The next thing (shortly afterwards) was my daughter Nicole breaking her arm at a holiday Taekwon Do programme. Obviously, none of us were happy about that. However, since my son Daniel still wanted to attend the remaining sessions, I took Nicole along to watch. She lasted maybe 15 minutes before she was begging with me to let her join in (but carefully, and keeping one foot on the floor) because she enjoyed doing it so much and she hated missing out. This made me think; how many things do I have that I would do even if I had a great reason (or excuse) for not doing them?

This all felt like delayed confirmation of something Andrew and I had done about a year ago. At that time had a number of different businesses, some of which offered the professional services that we’re trained and qualified in on a freelance basis, and some that we’d fallen into or chosen because we could see the financial opportunity. The trouble was that the ones we’d got into for financial reasons were dragging us down. Even though the financial potential was still there, we really didn’t want to do the work because it just wasn’t enjoyable. So we just stopped the businesses that weren’t “us” and now we’re much happier working on projects that we enjoy and know we’re good at.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that we’ll enjoy every second of every day that we spend working on our chosen businesses. There will be things that we’d prefer not to do and days when it all turns pear shaped. However, for me, knowing that I get to do the work I choose to do each day is, to me, worth the trade-off of the huge dollars I (supposedly) could have earned doing something I didn’t enjoy. (And hopefully the tasks I don’t currently enjoy will either become easier and more fun as I get better at them, or I’ll look at outsourcing!)

So what’s making me happy right now?

  • Figuring out my first ever blog post!
  • Processing tax returns (weird, I know, but that’s okay!)
  • Doing the adults’ dance in Nicole’s dance school’s year end show
  • Reading for fun
  • Sunday mornings with many coffees and the Sunday paper puzzles
  • Sunday afternoons cooking meals for the rest of the week
  • Blobbing in front of the TV with Andrew (and the kids, depending on content)
  • Eating the food the kids are cooking (with increasingly little supervision)

How about you? Please leave a comment with your feedback or opinions.